How do you react to change? Let me just say that the word in itself makes me cringe! I do not like change, Sam I am. I do not like it in my house, I do not like it in my spouse. I do not like it here or there. I do not like it anywhere. Not one little bit. Unless it is initiated by moi. Then it is refreshing, exciting… perhaps the best idea in the world! I love knowing what to expect. But if I am honest with myself, I think I just like being in control.
All to Jesus, I surrender…
My husband came to me yesterday and suggested a new spot for our Christmas tree this year. As soon as he said it, I could feel my inner lioness come out. NO! I want it where it always is! It looks fabulous right beside our fireplace- where we have put it for the past few years. How dare he suggest something different!
And as soon my inner roar came out, I remembered that where he suggested to put it was actually where I had wanted it all along- nine years ago! But nevertheless, I had to put my foot down and say NO!
I am as stubborn as a mule. I have yet to meet one, but I imagine they must be pretty stubborn, because I sure am! I prayed and asked God to help me with my stubbornness last night. Surely He can help me navigate the minor change of putting our tree in a new spot. More of Him and less of me…
I am letting go of old habits. Change is hard, but change is good. When I am faced with change, I don’t like what I see in myself. It makes me thankful for a Savior who understands me and my weaknesses… and who forgives me for my not so good reactions. It makes me thankful that I have a loving husband who knows me all too well after more than 19 years together, and that he can show me grace… and I can do the same for him. Change allows me to take a good look at myself. When I look in the mirror, I want to look more like Jesus every day- not my old stubborn self!
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10
Before my husband left for work this morning, I told him I thought his ideas were great ones and that I was excited to do something different. Baby steps. As I pray daily- He continually shows me that He ain’t done with me yet! He is making me new every day- changing and growing me… shaping and molding me into His clay pot.
And then we discussed not only moving the tree, but switching the entire contents of one room with another. Gasp! And my inner lioness didn’t even make a peep! A mere day before, this would have sent me into a melt-down.
And since we’re going to change the house around, I might as well keep on changing… who knows? Maybe I’ll color my hair blonde! Maybe I’ll even change the side of the bed I sleep on! Ok, maybe that’s a little too much change for one day…
“God loves you just the way you are, but He refuses to leave you that way.
He wants you to be just like Jesus.” – Max Lucado
Thank you for loving me just as I am and for loving me enough to change me into Your likeness. I’ll stand with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the One who gave it all. I’ll stand, my soul, Lord, to You surrendered. All I am is Yours!