In search of the perfect shrug to compliment our Easter Sunday outfits, the girls and I headed out to the mall yesterday. Shopping with my daughters is always an adventure- one that I often have to give myself a “pep talk” to do. Gotta have a planned route, set clear expectations, and we buy absolutely NOTHING that is not on our list…okay, I mean the imaginary list that is in my brain because even if I did write one, it would be lost within seconds of finishing it…
Anyway, we arrived at our first destination, and much to my delight, the return I had to make first went off without a hitch! I quickly found the perfect shrug for myself and made the purchase. It was almost too good to be true- no lines, no hassle, girls were as good as gold…. and then we proceeded to exit the store.
As soon as I passed by the tag sensors, the alarm went off. Boy is that thing loud! I think it’s even louder when you are the one setting it off. My face turned beet red, and the girls were mortified. I stepped back, and at that same time an elderly lady was walking towards the sensors with her bag in hand. We stepped through at the same time, and sure enough- it went off again. The elderly lady shot me a disapproving look, and I quickly went back to the check-out counter and they checked my bag. Nope- no sensor tag. I tried to exit the store a third time, and once again, the alarm went off. The sales associate waived me on, and the girls and I journeyed onto store #2.
They walked far enough behind me that I could tell they didn’t want the horror of being stared at if we set off another store alarm. I approached the sensor of the next store, and turned to smile at my girls. Surely it wouldn’t go off again!
Much to my horror, it did- this one seemed even louder. I noticed people were staring at me and my face started getting red again. I walked through the entryway and someone asked me if they could help me. I said I needed to find a shrug for my girls to wear, and oh, by the way– I keep setting these darned sensors off! She was baffled, too, and said not to worry about it. Another sales associate approached me and asked me if I was wearing Ann Taylor Loft jeans. What a strange question…why yes, I was wearing Loft jeans…
“Sometimes there is a sensor in the jeans that set off our alarm system.”
“Well, that’s crazy! I’ve had these jeans for ever and they have never set off any alarms!”
“How about you follow me- I can deactivate it for you.”
“You mean deactivate my butt?” I asked her, trying to stifle my giggles. The girls were completely mortified at this entire situation. I followed her to the register and began feeling up and down the seams of my jeans. She waved her magic wand up and down my sides and backside, with no luck. So, I did the only thing I could think to do- I reached down into my pant legs and much to my relief- I found the culprit. I turned my jeans down and she cut the tag out with her scissors.
There were way too many people staring at my backside at this point, and all I could do was laugh. Even the girls were hysterically giggling and hiding behind clothing racks.
So the next time you set an alarm off in a store- be sure to check your backside… you might just need your butt deactivated!